The “One” That Lasted

Her Beautifully Awful Singing

She always sang a bit way off-key,
She couldn’t hit a single note;
She mixed up words from different songs,
Some getting caught down in her throat;
She sang songs from our favorite bands
That I didn’t recognize;
When she told me the title of the song she sang
I tried to hide my amused surprise.

She sang loudest in the morning
When there was still darkness in the hour;
While preparing for her coming day
She sang in the steam from her hot shower;
I’d lie in bed and listen
To the most beautiful sound a guy could hope to hear;
I’d give everything I have today
To hear her awful voice still echoing in my ear.

She’d sing lullabies to our children
With words that never were the same;
She’d sing our anthem loud and proud
At every baseball game;
She sang while doing housework
To the music that played inside her head;
She sang her last song to me
From her oncology hospital bed.

You can have your Mariah Careys;
You can have your Celine Dions by the score;
I’d rather hear those awful melodies
Being belted out around the house once more;
It’s amazing how beautiful her songs were
When listened to with the love inside my heart;
I can’t wait to get to heaven
To hear how she tortures the angel’s harp.

Underneath the Shooting Stars

Underneath the weight of my backpack
I start out on the trail;
Some say I am too old for this,
They are certain I will fail;
Five hundred miles through the wilderness,
Before my journey is complete;
Underneath the weight of my backpack
This life’s challenge I will meet.

Underneath the canopy of treetops,
I set up my first camp;
My boots are causing blisters,
My calves now start to cramp;
I talk to myself to battle loneliness,
But I feel peace within my soul;
Underneath the canopy of treetops,
I envision meeting my final goal.

Underneath the shooting stars at midnight,
I contemplate the truth;
I try hard to forgive myself
For wasting away my youth;
I try to comprehend
The awful choices that I’ve made;
Underneath the shooting stars at midnight,
My consciousness starts to fade.

Underneath the morning sky at sunrise,
I wake up from a dream;
Sunshine meets the dewdrops
Filling the valley up with steam;
Refreshed and full of vigor,
I pack up the sagging tent;
Underneath the morning sky at sunrise
My heart is now content.

Underneath months of an unshaven beard,
My smile is bright and wide;
My last day on the hiking trail,
Each step taken with new pride;
I left my troubles far behind me,
Along with everybody’s doubt;
Underneath months of an unshaven beard
The real me is coming out.

Today I Met a Blind Man

Today I met a blind man
Who sees more clearly than I;
He saw that I was struggling
To find some truth behind the lies;
He saw with every word I spoke
My anger and despair;
He saw the negative aura
I was emitting everywhere.

He suggested I stop looking
At the world with just my eyes;
If I looked with a hopeful heart,
I just might be surprised;
If I focused on the future
With an optimistic lean,
My eyes will see the beauty
Where hopelessness was once seen.

Today I met a blind man,
But it wasn’t the man who cannot see;
The blind man I met today,
Was the man who used to be me.

Phoenix Rising

Nashville

I am traveling to Nashville
For some Tennessean sun
I’m gonna find some country women there
We are going to have some fun

I am traveling to Nashville
Where they’re dancing in the streets
I am going to get lucky
With some Southern Belles I meet

I am traveling to Nashville
Where I’m bound to have some fun
Then away from jealous husbands
Out of Nashville I will run

A Smiling Disguise

Behind a smiling disguise
She wore sad eyes
That nobody else could see;
Her lost control
Of a damaged soul
Was only known by me.

The exterior façade
That people applaud
Was an act to hide the pain;
When we were alone
I would hear her moan
A tortured and hurt refrain.

Silently, her secrets I kept;
Secretly, for her I wept;
Knowing the history she hid;
From innocence lost,
She paid a high cost,
Because of the things that he did.

I tried to get her help
For the hand she was dealt
But it was something she never would try;
Instead, all night,
She would tremble with fright
From the dreams that would make her cry.

Then, one day she was gone,
The letter left, wasn’t long
The pills put her ever to sleep;
Now I live with the pain,
Along with the guilt that I’ve gained
With no shoulder on which I can weep.